I was sick!
Many would even have medically declared me totally TOXIC.
I had NO energy!
I was lethargic and spent most of my day either in bed or in my recliner.
My joints ached and my muscles groaned with every motion.
I had regular chest pains and found it difficult to breathe.
I had trouble swallowing and my glands in my throat were always sore.
My teeth were slowly vanishing behind my swollen gums that bled.
I itched everywhere from the top of my head to between my toes.
My hair was falling out, my nails were brittle and my skin dry and patchy.
Hot flashes plagued me all day and severe night sweats kept me tossing and turning each night.
My mouth tasted like tin and my sinuses were packed full every morning.
My bowels were irritated and irregular and my stomach was severely bloated.
When confronted with the smallest stress, my heart would race and i could not cope!
The depression was back. I cried regularly and even had thoughts of death and how freeing that would be. I did not want to see anyone, go anywhere or do anything, ever.
I was a prisoner in my own home and my friends and family seemed to have disappeared.
I had just enough move in me to care for my son and my husband. (I put on a great show for them when they got home, acting as tho all was well to shelter them from the pain i was dying from inside)
I was a mess.
We were going through a horribly painful bankruptcy that stressed me out terribly!
It was an embarrassing thing that i could not talk to anyone about. In fact i could not talk to anyone about anything!
I felt so alone!
I was physically dying, emotionally void, financially spent, socially dead, creatively empty and spiritually short circuiting!
If something did not change I knew I would not live to see my 50th birthday.
My diet consisted of starch, fat and red meat. I consumed no produce or whole grains and my coffee, milk, spirits and pop (albeit diet) were the only water intake of the day. Anything i consumed usually 2 meals at 11am and again at 11pm were of massive proportion and i would fall into bed with a thud and most nights wake up with a volcano in my gut! I consumed up to 6000 calories a day and tipped the scale at a whopping 201 pounds.
I began to dissect my life and analyze who i was.
What was it that was killing me and how would I change my life?
That was me only 2 days ago!
This is where my journey began.
